it felt good though..d week,d shrink n then back 2 sqaure one...it all began wth a nasty fi8..yes wth my best frnd..thn i simplified..n things r normal or rather sane again...the self-killing mania is over..i nw have loads a room 4 maslf..n im lovin it..d masks r gone..drop dead..nw there r faces,d happy ones 2..after seeing twili8 saga eclips,after all that waiting..nw thngs r btr agen..im not a part of dat jittery group nw..n i feel blessed..i learnd that he isnt coming back,never,so im moving 4ward,this time for real,n for good....

whoever

we all are wearing masks..n im in smooth harmony with a mask only..deep down inside the faces has rotten ages ago..but hope is there,hope is the colourful paint,and yes the way they smile..angel face..there is actually no angel face,its the angel face mask..and we all love it,the devil face mask is ugly and is mostly hated..but its all about perspective..no one is perfect,no one is soully improper either..we all are mixed,actually like a colloid solution..if the suspended particles are pretty then your colour will be pretty,n loved by all......if the reverse is true,then u end up being a loner.....ah!when was the last time he came?dunno....

u

i shud nvr read ur blogs..yet i know i will,till my heart stops beating,or my eyes quit viewing..coz it is the only thing that keeps me goin..d only thing worth living for...u...my living god..who controls my life..i breath u thru air,i listen 2 u thru music..u speak thru my voice,u sleep thru my eyes..u run in my vessels lyk blood..i touch u,when i touch myself,i see u when in my wake or in my dreams..u shw me d cues n virtues of lyf,n warn me against evil n odds...u control me via nerve impulses thru my retired brain cells.....if this is not being god,then what is?i got my god,i can touch him,see him ,feel him.....n i carry him with myself whereever i go......im fulfilled,n i got immortality,n eternity with my god,with u...i have u.....n i can wri8 no more...

d trip

a trip changed a lot of things...a lot me..n nw im never 2 be happy again..

about u

when he is with me he washes away all the pain i have,but when he's not he causes the same.....i need his touch with few intervals but i need a good supply.....i wanted to say i need you,i want you,i long to be with you....but i never did n i never will....cause i cant trust you.....
but i know soon enough you will come again,and i will sleep peacefully in your arms,on your chest,and u will again play with my mane....n i will be in heaven....
after a long time i found you,you are quite a same sinner,but you have better version of crime...i know u are much more cold blooded....still u are my serenade...
i wish to see you break,cause when you do,i'll collect your shattered pieces....and like my own self i will rebuild u as u are...i dont want much changes,but i love to feel u in my arms,toying with my body....soft,silky yet strong touch.....
when you dont i cant even touch my own self...whenever i touch me...my body says-'access denied'...as u are my only password....

head ache....

im having a very bad head ache....i think im gonna kill myself...

should i or should i not!

once in a blue moon i think im allowed to cry......especially on occasions like this......my best friend came to see me today we had long chats over the coffee.....
i went to this amazing movie where two very hot dudes where entertaining enough......if only i could get some sleep today i could have said that today is a perfect day.....but my life is in sheer lack of perfection.....and today i could really use some tears to wash my mask off....at least tonight.....
i saw u today.....what i was supposed to do?i dunno.....i wanted to cry hard but i had to smile....it's ironic....whenever i feel like crying i laugh...my grin grows bigger.....i smile like a maniac,that's the only way i can keep it sane....i was wearing this awesome black dress u always adored....n thousands of eyes said to me-hello gorgeous!...did u notice my new found red hair?n my reddish cheeks?i dont think so.....u smiled out of courtesy.....i smiled out of grief,none was happy,they where pathetic n plastic......
im the queen of this plastic smile,i have mastered the art...even if i cry,why should i let u know?
i think i need another fag..or some organic water....honestly,but i dunno if i will conceive one good fat tear,n if i dont tonight i will laugh my heart out,like some self-addicted maniac......
will u laugh?or will u sleep?i think u will be just fine..........:)