Dear naveen,
life is cruel. Accept it. I accepted long time back. Life is cruel to those who just wont give up and surrender to her. Pain is a passerby so is pleasure. What stays is the will to fight. Hope. My whole life standing on a single thread of hope.
Life is also an asshole. I wont apologise for not giving you enough time. I know i try. You know i try too. Doesn't it count??? Im fighting with time, fighting with destiny, fighting with god, fighting with pain... Life has become Just a fight.
You were like fresh air in my life, my friend, my fellow. I too think of the
chennai days often. The chats, the laughter. With you n vijay i use
to laugh a lot. Life felt livable. They are more than memories. They are happiness. Remember all our sleepless nights!!! We never complained about sleep deprivation. This job is sucking life out of me. I know im dying. In QED i had u, i had vijay. Here i have nothing but a deathtrap.
Its been 3yrs since im trying to get just a decent teaching job. Im not getting anything. That depesses me. Kills me n breaks me from inside. I know very well about heartaches, madness and pain. They have been with me from the begining.
I love her, its true. You know i do. Without her my life will be nothing. Without her i wont live.
In life we often face choices. My choice will kill me bothways. If i fail to teach ill die, and if i fail to live with her ill die then as well. Yet im fighting with my last drop of blood. Its a very unequal war. In India there is no future of a woman with another woman. I know this by heart. Im a criminal to love a woman according to IPCC377. Yes. Emagine when the world around you tags you a criminal, an outcast. Im a loner beyond your wildest dreams. I fight alone. Not even she is with me in this fight. She is too weak and morbid to even fight for herself. Hence all are on me. Plus added pressure and responsibility of mom n dad. If i die they dont have a penny to feed themselves. Nor a place to live. You know the pressure of being the boy of ur parents dont u?
Chatting with you kept my minds off these things. If i think of my life i will kill myself that very moment itself. Hence i dont think. I just let things happen on their own. You are important. And i will tell you this on your face when u will no longer be important to me. I can do that. And if needed i will do it. But i cant prove it to you if u dont have faith.
Im highly misunderstood by everyone in life, even my sister, even my mom. I dont expect to be understood.
I know i care, i have faith.
one day u will understand.
Till then take care my friend.
Respect.
life is cruel. Accept it. I accepted long time back. Life is cruel to those who just wont give up and surrender to her. Pain is a passerby so is pleasure. What stays is the will to fight. Hope. My whole life standing on a single thread of hope.
Life is also an asshole. I wont apologise for not giving you enough time. I know i try. You know i try too. Doesn't it count??? Im fighting with time, fighting with destiny, fighting with god, fighting with pain... Life has become Just a fight.
You were like fresh air in my life, my friend, my fellow. I too think of the
chennai days often. The chats, the laughter. With you n vijay i use
to laugh a lot. Life felt livable. They are more than memories. They are happiness. Remember all our sleepless nights!!! We never complained about sleep deprivation. This job is sucking life out of me. I know im dying. In QED i had u, i had vijay. Here i have nothing but a deathtrap.
Its been 3yrs since im trying to get just a decent teaching job. Im not getting anything. That depesses me. Kills me n breaks me from inside. I know very well about heartaches, madness and pain. They have been with me from the begining.
I love her, its true. You know i do. Without her my life will be nothing. Without her i wont live.
In life we often face choices. My choice will kill me bothways. If i fail to teach ill die, and if i fail to live with her ill die then as well. Yet im fighting with my last drop of blood. Its a very unequal war. In India there is no future of a woman with another woman. I know this by heart. Im a criminal to love a woman according to IPCC377. Yes. Emagine when the world around you tags you a criminal, an outcast. Im a loner beyond your wildest dreams. I fight alone. Not even she is with me in this fight. She is too weak and morbid to even fight for herself. Hence all are on me. Plus added pressure and responsibility of mom n dad. If i die they dont have a penny to feed themselves. Nor a place to live. You know the pressure of being the boy of ur parents dont u?
Chatting with you kept my minds off these things. If i think of my life i will kill myself that very moment itself. Hence i dont think. I just let things happen on their own. You are important. And i will tell you this on your face when u will no longer be important to me. I can do that. And if needed i will do it. But i cant prove it to you if u dont have faith.
Im highly misunderstood by everyone in life, even my sister, even my mom. I dont expect to be understood.
I know i care, i have faith.
one day u will understand.
Till then take care my friend.
Respect.
