about u

when he is with me he washes away all the pain i have,but when he's not he causes the same.....i need his touch with few intervals but i need a good supply.....i wanted to say i need you,i want you,i long to be with you....but i never did n i never will....cause i cant trust you.....
but i know soon enough you will come again,and i will sleep peacefully in your arms,on your chest,and u will again play with my mane....n i will be in heaven....
after a long time i found you,you are quite a same sinner,but you have better version of crime...i know u are much more cold blooded....still u are my serenade...
i wish to see you break,cause when you do,i'll collect your shattered pieces....and like my own self i will rebuild u as u are...i dont want much changes,but i love to feel u in my arms,toying with my body....soft,silky yet strong touch.....
when you dont i cant even touch my own self...whenever i touch me...my body says-'access denied'...as u are my only password....

head ache....

im having a very bad head ache....i think im gonna kill myself...

should i or should i not!

once in a blue moon i think im allowed to cry......especially on occasions like this......my best friend came to see me today we had long chats over the coffee.....
i went to this amazing movie where two very hot dudes where entertaining enough......if only i could get some sleep today i could have said that today is a perfect day.....but my life is in sheer lack of perfection.....and today i could really use some tears to wash my mask off....at least tonight.....
i saw u today.....what i was supposed to do?i dunno.....i wanted to cry hard but i had to smile....it's ironic....whenever i feel like crying i laugh...my grin grows bigger.....i smile like a maniac,that's the only way i can keep it sane....i was wearing this awesome black dress u always adored....n thousands of eyes said to me-hello gorgeous!...did u notice my new found red hair?n my reddish cheeks?i dont think so.....u smiled out of courtesy.....i smiled out of grief,none was happy,they where pathetic n plastic......
im the queen of this plastic smile,i have mastered the art...even if i cry,why should i let u know?
i think i need another fag..or some organic water....honestly,but i dunno if i will conceive one good fat tear,n if i dont tonight i will laugh my heart out,like some self-addicted maniac......
will u laugh?or will u sleep?i think u will be just fine..........:)

someplace

I'm searching......still searching....n I'm disturbed... I'm not liking things,the way they are....i am not liking this place....i'm not liking me.....a friend is coming soon...assurance at last..but that one small place in my head is still missing....
i go all by myself,i sit,i listen n i drink pina colada...i suffer from shoe malfunction....then i kiss for long 15 minutes....n i laugh...and then when i come back home,i blame the acidity.....
that someplace is much needed....if u pick it up by chance please return then,it will be of no use to u....and please do not flirt with me,im not into cheesy talks....
im just searching for my place,my root....