amar jiyonkathi

tomay jara chute chaye ami tader ghrina kori.tomay jara bhalobashe ami tader hingsha kori.ami pagol hoye jabo tomay ebhabe bhalobeshe. kintu onno konobhabe bhalobashte ami jani na. tumi hoyeto bhabo shobtai paglami,shobtai madokota....shudhu amar ami jane amar proti nishshashe bash kore tomar ami. jani boro tarahuro korchi, tumi bolbe aaro onek shomoy nite....shomoy newa byartho kina ami janina, tobe ebhabei ami bheshe jai benojole....amar bhalobasha muk o bodhir kintu taar onek onubhuti ache...tamon kore tomay keu onubhob koreni konodin. amar shobtai elomelo, ogochalo, dukhkhobilashi....na ebhabe kichu bojhano jayena, ebhabe shudhui bhalobasha jaye...hain bhalobashi tomay, nirdidhaye bolte pari bhalobashi tomakei.....atota shomoy par kore shudhu atodin ghure ghure firechi....aaj shey fera shanto holo bodhoy....ami r kauke khujbona karur modhye...khujbo nijeke abar harabo abar fire pabo....shob kichu abar benche uthbe tomar sporshe ami jani....ami shob bhule jabo, tomay chuye ami mrityunjoyi hobo...

the change

how fast life is changing. i am now a post graduate in life sciences.yes OFFICIALLY...and i did good..cant really anticipate where life will take me from here, but that is not what i am thinking now. this is hard to share, most of you wont even understand. life has changed drastically. i am so unsure of myself, if i follow my heart i may end up hurting a lot of people, which i don't intend.but then how far can i run from my own self?i have my own needs, my craving. and yes the way i need to belong to someone. its hard to keep pace with my ever changing mind, i want to settle down now. but my life has taken a very unexpected weird turn. i was not prepared for it, but then i do not wish to let go. not now, not yet. all i know for now that i am not very good at this balancing act, but somehow ill have to, cause now is not the time..ill be patient and wait, happiness matters and it can only come by being surrounded by love and belonging.
phew! complicated life!but no one said its gonna be easy, i was not up for easy, i am not meant for easy..

opekhkhay kete jaye chupchap raat...
kotoshoto megher porote poroete mishe thake akibuki kata ghum..
kalo raat nijhjhum
nijeke chuye ami shuye thaki ghono chander niche..
janalar baire ojhor dharay bristi potei thake jug juganto dhore..
amon borsha hoye ak shorir jolodhara boye chole arek shorire..
chupchupe bhije roa otha buk byakul hoye othe shonda matir gondhe..
bhir kore ghore dhuke ashe nishs

hash makha bhari hawar dol..
adorer chinnho gulo chador chapa pore khujte thake atotayi premke..
kon khoter kototuku gobhirota?bujhte bujhtei forsha hoy raat..
brishti jole dhuye jaye proshnera...
poli pore shorirer bare urborota,
bare bhoy r bare jibon shongshoy...
ami shuye thaki mouni chander niche
nirghum chokh jaage, r kaan pete shone
nijer bheja thonte tor nishshasher othanama..