Dear you,
im feeling compelled to write this up in your mail, sorry im writing in english.with all the embarrassment in the world i accept, iv find it extremely difficult to comprehend in bangla, i lose words for description. Yes i am ashamed of it,ill try improving. I remember writing long mails to you about an year and a half back. They never recieved any replies though. Broken fragments of a girls heart may not be worth replying to an uprising beautiful author. Yes ill post this one for a change in my raining kingdome, just to let my readers know, i hope they'll forgive my horrible spellings.
remember that night!9th feb2012. Let me walk you back,here,let me hold your pretty fingers and embed them in mine. This walk we take now is worth keeping in the meuseum. The one that exists amongst rainclouds.
i was 68kgs back then. Decent looking. Had long hair, and loved my red long painted fingernails(you too loved them, you said once). I was an msc fellow,doing a paper on cancer,my only dream to get into iisc and focus my life on cancer. I had bestest of people with me. Loving friends who meant the world to me. A family dreaming big things for their girl. I had it all. I had the confidence to shake your guts up and enough so u'd be bound to come and surrender. Yes it took a few months after that first kiss to get you on your knees. Remember my birthday, when you decided to fuck your ego and get the ring on my fingers. Yes it was a fairytale. I was a cloud princess, singing and writting my heart out to you, you were a prince(my prince i thought) Making love to the princess in their porche(yes, im refering to your bed). It was a beautiful dream come true perception. Sweet scent of our pespires and lovelinessess still lingers in some lone corner of that room. Your little pet knows the smell. Iv let you drink me, to take me in.and i use to inhase you in every breath. Yes i remember, you smelled like spices.
Darling sooner or later reality comes along to wake us up from our fairytale dreams. It is a sickness, like your gastritis and my asthma. It makes us suffer in the worst possible ways and we still learn to live with it. And when sickness as such sets in even the rarest of angels fall. It was an illness that came slowly like a slithering assassine. It killed the prince first,to top it all it brought along a demon. That demon had that face. My prince's face. So began the game of powerplay,of hide and seek,of deception.
women are stronger dear, at least those who have a heart of a lady. They may appear fragile, you never know their streangth, unless they leave you fighting for yourself. The princess was a worrior and she fought her way to death. A winter came and the demon cut her heart out and fed on it, while she was sleeping. Demons are stealthy, and dishonest. They have no honor. They are weak than those who they kill. They need to keep on eating brave hearts to exist. They are a pitty.
February 2015, Im a marketting executive In a startup house where i need to travel like a cartwoman. From here to there,back and forth,iv came miles away from my books. Yes all because i was busy fighting your demons in your kingdome. I couldnt leave the place only to see it become a desertland, our castle to become a haunted house with merely ghosts of past in them.
My hair is up my shoulder,and my nails are perfectly chewed. It is a disgrace for any nail paint,hence it wont stay more than a day. im 84kgs Now. People say when you are depressed, and stressed beyond your life, you eat junk, and you become a junk as well. Im fat,the mirror tells me do disappear in my misery,and not to look back. Im scared to open my cloths. It goes unnoticed my sleeveless and deep cut dresses are now being tailored as all covered one. Im scared one day soon ill lose all my hair but may grow Moustaches soon. That too with grey hairs in it.(sorry bout the dry humor).
I hoped beyond hope that things would work out. I was patient and gave all i can. I really wanted it to. But dreams are just dreams, and you gotta let go before they turn into nightmares and choak you in your sleep. You know the feeling, u'v been through it.
I prefer stories, the way they are told has something to touch,feel,smell, and taste, the way they are human, the way each word becomes a moment. In time dear, in time. I suck at saying goodbyes and parting words. Im an asshole in it. But im a fare storyteller(with acknowledgement or without)..
Now, let our fingers reunite again,im sure the've parted during the walk,it was Long n tiring. One kiss on each fingertip. Here i let lose of it. Be well.
Farewell.
N.B: Now i leave the rest on the readers emagination. And if no tears are shed during the readtime, you know where you stand.
Love and respect.
Author.
