Reminiscence

my heart was breaking as i was surfing through each and every single word. I know what this post was all about,i can still hear my ribs breaking..one after other..thunderclouds are storming up the way to my throat. No luck bitch!!!no easy let out for you.
Im always secondary,always..i knew this. And im a loner. All my life after some point i leave only with myself. Iv tried relationships. When they didn't work out, i tried blaming it on me. Iv tried hard. It is of no use. It turned out to be it was not my fault afteral. And being loner is beter than living with lies.
lies..yes, i hate them. Hate the fact that no asshole has the guts to speak up. filthy lies.
i met the girl i once was today. It aint worth the visit. Pray temme what would stupid tearsheds will bring. They bring emotions,and stupidity.
i must stop visiting the memoires. They are no longer realistic. Everything changed. So did i..
Hotelrooms, buses,trains,cabs and lousy cities..one after the other..im running around like the winds now. I am afterall a cloud..a homeless flier..fly along,fly along with time.. And release..

she will never write a single word for me,never..no matter what she says..the ornamental juvenile deceptions. Not me. Not worth the wait.
she will afterall never write,never, the way he does. No one ever will.