Monday, December 5, 2011

i hate my life.i hate every part of it i swear....no matter what i do the huge weight of the expectations is never lifted of my chest....explains my breathing troubles....if i trip just for one moment,i find myself 10feets under the ground,buried,suffocated....about those extra miles i should walk,i know they would never end....no matter how hard i try people will only remember my fall,and how badly others are hurt....well what about the part where  im broken,where i feel alone to the core,i feel betrayed and not loved,unwanted....don't buy me commodities,they can't buy me....i cant change who i am,i would rather not exist...coz being different,on an introvert is part of being me.....may be im not good for the rest of the world,but im good for me.....i want myself to be me,to stick by me till the very end coz no one else will....im a loner now i guess....in my mind i find it empty and dark...the only time i feel real,alive is when im with u jake....people are so fake,n i still have to justify them....too much time has passed,true,nothing can be undone now....commodities wont by my pains,my humiliations,my ruined screwed up mind..i spit on them....i dont even remember the last time i was happy.....all iv been lately is working,like dogs,for grades,for money,done things i never wanted,iv coped....now i feel sick to the edge of it....i feel i can throw up with my empty stomach...im done,im so so done......i quit this foolishness....i wont beg anymore,for food,for mercy.....i wont eat like a dog...true,iv not eaten since last 2days,and to be honest,i dont feel any hunger....i dont care if i die now,i wont end this....no matter how worse or ugly things get......i wont quit on this,i wont quit on me...
p.s-note to the rest of the world-nothing will change with me,so,all attempts made are gonna be in vein.....so,if u want a different version of me,i hope u enjoy disappointment....

Saturday, December 3, 2011

biday

jolsunyo chokhe biday janai tomake
jibitoder bhir theke mishey jabo ak moha sunye,
amar mrito chokhe tai jol nei
ache bubhukkhu machider shoddo para dim...

... shilper tarona ache,shilpir shudhu mrityu,
amake bojhar bhar nai ba chapale aar
tomader oi ak khupri mostishker ghare..
utshob koro mortobashi...PAGLI MORECHE,MORBE....

ami to mrito chilam shotabdi purbeo,
tokhono chilo chitkar,bhortshona,dhikkar...
ghennara aajo shohobash kore tomader chahonite..
tomar slesh-bakkera aajo tate chappa mere jay..

tobuo shey mritodehe kichu ushnota baki chilo,
tokhono amar mangsho khuble khuble khute
roshonar tripto bashonay unmad hoyni,
jajabor lolup potonger dol...

kobir protibader gola tepa shohoj
tobu probol jontrona niye shorob thake kobitara..
amar mostishko-proshuto bejonmar dol,
amari moto abol-tabol opangteyo...

ghune chata shada bashi mora thonte
kothao ektu bhasha roye gache baaki
oke urte dao,mukti dao,shesh hok nihshash,
amar e shobdeho dao ognigorbhe shope...

tomader bhire amar sthan nei atotuku,
chilona ja ta thakbe na konodino....
osru noy falo kerosin ei lekhay
oshustho kobinir oshustho bidayer aahuti....