Breaks

Breaks are inevitable in life, sometimes it is important to apply them, sometimes its important to take them.
As for what i'v learned from life when you succumb to leathally in a situation or in an emotion, cut it off. Yes instantly without hesitation become a robot, stop thinking. Apply break on your thoughts.
Yes running helps. Or walking with youself, for sometimes. Earphones plugged in, a ciggerette in hand. Lit another before one dies properly. Yes the smoke helps. It keeps you busy.
Dont listen to them! The voices in your head. Take a break. Dissociate completely from them. Silence those voices. Dont listen. Think of a state of oblivion, of nothingness, of vaccum, of numbness, become a zero. Succumb to a soulful music, think of the almighty, of nature, think of nothing but light, the eternal light. The light that never fades. Think of darkness, like blackhole, become one youself.
Yes this state gives peace, peace of mind.
Break is unavoidable and unforseen. Break away to freedome.
when people tend to go, break free of them, let them go.
Have patience, wait and observe from farthest of corners. Watch them go...
watch them grow small, smaller, smallest...till they become a point.
Watch them come back. Yes they do often!
Break your own ego. Dont just let them come back. Wait, keep distance. Observe.
No one can change the past. But they must make ammends. Observe what they do to set things right. Observe what they have learned. Onserve how they undo their mistakes.
If you see honest efforts honor them. Else....
If you see posing crowd, apply break. Break free, break away.

Its a capitalist world..

Its a capitalist world.
There is nothing called unconditional. People dont help you, they either do a favour on you or they do business.
As for those who do a favour they basically take pitty on you. And another agenda is there. A hidden one. Pick up a fight with people who do you a favour. Then you will get to see the hidden truth. They will take up every events and say it out loud about how they have "helped" you out when you were in need. They will make you understand how you being a selfish manupulative bitch have played with their emotions and used them as resource and drained them out and then disposed them off like piece of shit. Yes some like to play victim. Its an awekward massocism which makes them feel better, pure and in way superior. Some like to act as saint or atleast think of themselves that way. They want you to feel obliged, hence understand any shit and every shit.. When you refuse to accept some you will be reminded of all that times that they have spent on you selflessly, sacrificing their entire lives for you. Basically this time they expect you to feel guilty about a sin that you have not even comitted. When you try to talk sense in them they will point you out for treating them like pigs when all the time you were fighting against them. The reason of fight does not matter much. Because no one truely cares, they only do you a favour so you must feel endebt. Human rights 101!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage!!!!! A filthy word that changes everything. A soon to be married person has only one identity, only one relation. Others are either favoured endebt people or business allies!!!

And ah the business world!!!! Mode of payment includes not only cash, but anything and everything. And mode of servitued is equally diversified. The one who pays expects equilibrium in services. The service provider must not fail to meet up the clients expectations. The human life is a service industry. Everyone is a resource. Everyone is a commodity. Everyone is a servant. Everyone is at sale. Everyone is a buyer. They only differ in forms and shapes.

Being me, being mirror

I will cut people out of my life with no hesitation, no explanation, and no warning, if they do phony shit, or i feel they cant be trusted. I'm getting too old to be hanging out with people who cant understand the concept of loyalty, faith, freedome and individuality. Who cant understand the concept of being me.

People can think whatever they want to think. I will explain myself no more. Those who cant understand my silence, do not deserve to hear my words. Yes my words are sharp, They cut deeper than knife. I was born this way, im the most defensive person under the sun. If i bleed, i return the favour. If im loved, i love back. I am a mirror that reflects back your own image. This is who i am, and who i will be. A mirror, a crystal clear reflector. If you punch me, and break a corner of it you will bleed. Expect no less, expect no more. 

About friendship

A friend is someone who is always by ur side, a true friend never leaves you, supports you through ur highs and lows, through ur thick and thin... A friend is someone who will fight the world for u, will fight ur battles, but never leave u alone.friendship is honest, unconditional and pure. A friend understands ur silence, loves u truely, and never lets u feel misarable, never hurt u, keeps ur faith, gives u hope, appreciates u, assures u ur the best when others are trying to bring u down. A friend gives u the freedome to be urself, the way u r, appreciates ur tiniest efforts and is always active to make u happy, put a smile on ur face, and wipes of ur tears before they roll down ur eyes.. A friend stays forever with u in ur happiness, And in ur sorrow. They are streangth, they are like backbone.. They make our lives worth living.
A friend is my sister, a friend is puja, a friend is sudip, a friend is bali n kinko, a friend is my jake, a friend is my kittu.
I know i'm a good friend.
A true friend never changes, not for their family pressure, not for situations, and never because they are about to get married. Friendship knows no gender, nor boundaries.
Those who change can be anything but a friend. Those who cant respect friendship because of family, future security, self complexity and/or whatsoever reason are most unfortunate. They can never see beyond thick orthodox relations. They are forever deprived of such a beautiful bond. I pitty them all.

Not everyone deserves to be a friend, or that value in life, or that much love, emotional attachment or that much importance, respect, and trust.
Trust is important.
Choose ur friend wisely, not everyone can keep it pure. Not everyone can value ur trust.

Poem that speaks of my heart

a poem by #meena kandasamy. Just touched my body, mind and soul. Loving it.

Note to.the self

what the hell is wrong with this universe????
nothing, its your fault that you are a bitch. You who sees everything coming, yet gets yourself into heartaches.
You are no goddess, you cant be perfect. You never wanted to be one in the first place. Your plate is full, you know it. You burn down families, and friends and everything around you, you burn people because you are fire.
You never wanted to hurt anyone. People are hurt still when you are around.
stop associating, start dissociating.

Yes you are right. I must disappear like i did once before. I must go. Because im human too. Im too much burned. Cant burn anymore. Cant run anymore. 

hollow

Seaven seas away,
where the sun sets by the bay,
lives a man with an unknown name,
with a smile that forever makes my day.

across thriteen rivers,
he travels, and lingers,
his sweet sweat and tears,
fills up the western air...

No road can lead me there,
no ocean to swim through,
there's so much vacant air,
no wings to fly me to you...