These days all I can think of is my solitude. The more time I'm spending with people the more I am growing weary of human company. I am detesing human company more than the permitted limits I guess. No one, (yes not even them) no one can cross this wall now. It's so concrete. The more time I spend with real people, listen to them the more weary I am feeling.
I am so so lost in my own solitude and I am liking it here. I'm dissociating from every dear one and making an exceptional inward journey. I think I'm crawling in my own skin, I'm coiling around my own axis and taking Anti clockwise turns towards my inside. I will reach to my guts very very soon. Time is ticking.
I know about happiness. I have had my fare share of it and I won't complain. But this kind of detachment is very new. It is kind of a spiritual call, something so deep that it's simply beyond words. This is even better than love-making or food. This is better than an orgasm. It's like I am reaching towards my own depths, it's like reaching the bottom of the sea. No light, to heat, no sign of life, but the calmness. Oh! What a mind-blowing calmn place this is. Every damn fucking thing is still, motionless, not even a ripple, it's a place of absolute nothingness. Like an Abyss, or a black hole that has engulfed everything and I'm amazed how silent everything is inside. I think I can happily give up everything now. I want nothing, absolutely nothing, as I know everything every sign of mortality will pass...
For those who are trying hard to intrude- these walls were made by those who never really existed, or maybe they are the only beings to exist, and we are nothing but pawns in their leisure time board games... Your competitors are not from your race, or your timeframe. so wisely use your energy. It's the most precious currency that you will ever have. Be wise and stop spending it on someone who is reaching the center of her own solitude.
I am so so lost in my own solitude and I am liking it here. I'm dissociating from every dear one and making an exceptional inward journey. I think I'm crawling in my own skin, I'm coiling around my own axis and taking Anti clockwise turns towards my inside. I will reach to my guts very very soon. Time is ticking.
I know about happiness. I have had my fare share of it and I won't complain. But this kind of detachment is very new. It is kind of a spiritual call, something so deep that it's simply beyond words. This is even better than love-making or food. This is better than an orgasm. It's like I am reaching towards my own depths, it's like reaching the bottom of the sea. No light, to heat, no sign of life, but the calmness. Oh! What a mind-blowing calmn place this is. Every damn fucking thing is still, motionless, not even a ripple, it's a place of absolute nothingness. Like an Abyss, or a black hole that has engulfed everything and I'm amazed how silent everything is inside. I think I can happily give up everything now. I want nothing, absolutely nothing, as I know everything every sign of mortality will pass...
For those who are trying hard to intrude- these walls were made by those who never really existed, or maybe they are the only beings to exist, and we are nothing but pawns in their leisure time board games... Your competitors are not from your race, or your timeframe. so wisely use your energy. It's the most precious currency that you will ever have. Be wise and stop spending it on someone who is reaching the center of her own solitude.
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