sigh...

finally im free..free from all my obsessions...i cn feel it..i have grown up...i know now what maturity n independence mean..n im both..cz iv learnd to let go of things...let go of people..being free is all about self-controll..n i have it over myself..i have learned to accept n deny according to situation n my own will..im sure i can take it from here without failure..i can live 4 maself,without anyone influencing me...kuddos to myself...sigh!few things r still not for sale....

i feel good..d rain has finally entered my system,n west bengal too...all that stickyness is replaced by wet touch...i feel like a mermaid...he makes love to me unknowingly,he says i love him,n i say i dunno...i have a soul of cloud..got my name cloudy too...am i?or am i not?im sorry i neglected all that true n real in my bitterness..bt nw i feel like me again...n i can actually relate to bella minus the super natural shit..

viewing ravan by maniratnam was a gr8 n memorable experience..i will recall it all my life..it made to the list..my list of favourite top ten memories..d hug is still number one,and there is d day i met sudip..n this one is favourite bcoz of specified reasons..dunno much bout d movie,but i got real wormth,comfort n serenity...... haauuttt he is..

it felt good though..d week,d shrink n then back 2 sqaure one...it all began wth a nasty fi8..yes wth my best frnd..thn i simplified..n things r normal or rather sane again...the self-killing mania is over..i nw have loads a room 4 maslf..n im lovin it..d masks r gone..drop dead..nw there r faces,d happy ones 2..after seeing twili8 saga eclips,after all that waiting..nw thngs r btr agen..im not a part of dat jittery group nw..n i feel blessed..i learnd that he isnt coming back,never,so im moving 4ward,this time for real,n for good....

whoever

we all are wearing masks..n im in smooth harmony with a mask only..deep down inside the faces has rotten ages ago..but hope is there,hope is the colourful paint,and yes the way they smile..angel face..there is actually no angel face,its the angel face mask..and we all love it,the devil face mask is ugly and is mostly hated..but its all about perspective..no one is perfect,no one is soully improper either..we all are mixed,actually like a colloid solution..if the suspended particles are pretty then your colour will be pretty,n loved by all......if the reverse is true,then u end up being a loner.....ah!when was the last time he came?dunno....

u

i shud nvr read ur blogs..yet i know i will,till my heart stops beating,or my eyes quit viewing..coz it is the only thing that keeps me goin..d only thing worth living for...u...my living god..who controls my life..i breath u thru air,i listen 2 u thru music..u speak thru my voice,u sleep thru my eyes..u run in my vessels lyk blood..i touch u,when i touch myself,i see u when in my wake or in my dreams..u shw me d cues n virtues of lyf,n warn me against evil n odds...u control me via nerve impulses thru my retired brain cells.....if this is not being god,then what is?i got my god,i can touch him,see him ,feel him.....n i carry him with myself whereever i go......im fulfilled,n i got immortality,n eternity with my god,with u...i have u.....n i can wri8 no more...

d trip

a trip changed a lot of things...a lot me..n nw im never 2 be happy again..