The worst missing is missing your own self.
Sometimes all you need is a shoulder, a shoulder to cry on. Arms that will wrap you in them and not try to trace the reasons behind your tears. Sometimes all you need is a friend who will not judge you and just let you be shattered, miserable, insane and broken. Someone who will tell you it's okay, it's okay to cry out as loud as you want, it's okay to feel betrayed, hurt, broken and weak, it's okay to feel miserable, to feel human. That friend in my life doesn't exist. I neither have such shoulders nor such arms anywhere near. It's always been me licking my own wounds, and it's always been me telling myself it's okay to lick your own wounds too. It's okay to be alone, isolated and even secluded. The worst missing is missing those own hands to wipe down the tears rolling down.
Everyone else will tell you that you are a strong independent person. And strong as you are strong like steel you must not melt, you must not allow yourself to become weak, to feel hurt, to feel lonely, to feel human... The world outside will praise you for your strength and crucify you from deviating from the standards they have set for you at the same time. Yes, you'll be exploited for being strong, as you are not allowed to have a weird moment. The world will suffocate you for not being the perfect resource machine that the religious gods have designed you to be and soon you earn your place amongst the scraps.
The worst missing is missing your own flesh and blood. The worst missing is missing your inner smile that had always danced to the tunes of your breath. The worst missing is missing the person you first fell in love with ever- the person who always smiled back at you from the mirror.
Sometimes all you need is a shoulder, a shoulder to cry on. Arms that will wrap you in them and not try to trace the reasons behind your tears. Sometimes all you need is a friend who will not judge you and just let you be shattered, miserable, insane and broken. Someone who will tell you it's okay, it's okay to cry out as loud as you want, it's okay to feel betrayed, hurt, broken and weak, it's okay to feel miserable, to feel human. That friend in my life doesn't exist. I neither have such shoulders nor such arms anywhere near. It's always been me licking my own wounds, and it's always been me telling myself it's okay to lick your own wounds too. It's okay to be alone, isolated and even secluded. The worst missing is missing those own hands to wipe down the tears rolling down.
Everyone else will tell you that you are a strong independent person. And strong as you are strong like steel you must not melt, you must not allow yourself to become weak, to feel hurt, to feel lonely, to feel human... The world outside will praise you for your strength and crucify you from deviating from the standards they have set for you at the same time. Yes, you'll be exploited for being strong, as you are not allowed to have a weird moment. The world will suffocate you for not being the perfect resource machine that the religious gods have designed you to be and soon you earn your place amongst the scraps.
The worst missing is missing your own flesh and blood. The worst missing is missing your inner smile that had always danced to the tunes of your breath. The worst missing is missing the person you first fell in love with ever- the person who always smiled back at you from the mirror.
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