episode 3..

bt he was much more visually beautiful,n sober,n there was those shining im-so-in-luv with eyes..it was him minus d music n d warmth n care,inshort his soul..n he spoke n unknown language,bt something inside me kept me going with him,it was like i was searching for him inside him only..weird me!we went 2 deshopriyo park,n we went to take a ride on d disco dance,n i was damn scared,bt he didnt hold me,n i was scared like a fool..we went 4 dinner,n d roof-top was coverd with stupid decorations..

puja,2010..episode-2..

next day was a damn busy morning..though d lazzyass me was still d late riser..coocking was on my to do list,that 2 mutton..after all d clumsy hands,n sweaty face,n i-smell-of-spices,n helping-hand-dad,n sneaking people n taste-it-n-temmes..d dish was good,n i got an exeeds expectation,n my stomach was happy..then came d i-waited-so-long evening,n after all d careful n detailed make up sessions finally he came..no appriciation from him,n d li8 inside me died off.he was cold,n beyond recognition..

my pujas,2010

it Started lyk ne other day,lazyass myself n d gloomy afternoon,d shosthi began bt wsnt a kickass start 4 me,been there done that standing in a long line 4 piko,last bit of shopping,then a lonely ride 2 home,then he came my sweet jake,lotz of adda,a prolonged walk 2 hajra road through an i-feel-suffocating traffic,chit-chat,d bawals,hooting at hot babes,n oh-so-tasty chicken pakora,fish finger,ice-cream n a good night sleep-it was a happy evening,but start was yet 2 cum...

d gr8 pujas hit bengal...

crowd..lots of people,marching together like ants..d smell of new cloths,perfumes n something more,d flashy loud yet vibrant colours,n all d happy faces...u cant help urself from liking everything..u cant help urself from falling in love..finally my happy place,but few things r yet 2 fix..rupamdehi,jayangdehi,yashodehi trishochani...

ill get over..it will just take some time...

ur touch doesnt feel d same..d elivated heartrate,n throbbing noise,even d quick shivers,chills n goosebumps are gone...nothing is there..ur touch feels different,like some monotonous routine day-to-day-got-use-to-it thing..life is a hell lot different,i have changed..im a grown-up now,i can make it out by this nothingness inside..nothing is left to feel..except my daily visits to memory lane..where our fingers touch,u hold my hand firmly,take me in ur arms..then we both let go.. n i live on..

in this race its not about winning..its not about position either,its about wether u get selected or not,that 2 according to ur own comfort corner...and im blessed...im fit,atleast able,so i got selected..finally!d procedure,d path,d exhaustion doesnt count..d end product matters..just like profit n loss..who said u have to play fare?when life n system isnt fare on u,fuck justice..be fare to urself..this is a damn cold blooded race,if u win u have it all..if u loose u have to fall..its natural selection...
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